Go to Sleep, Woman (Jeff the Killer x Reader)
by JazzyMusic123
Summary: You are a popular beautiful girl who has a brain almost like a dog almost your school but that's ok stupidity comes in your friends too. At night, you meet an infamous killer who isn't real and makes the girl coco bananas Jeff the Killer. Guess what, Jeff falls in love! (Parody of Jeff the Killer x Reader stories.) Warning: Languages, Perverts
1. Chapter 1

**Go to Sleep, Woman**

**Summary: You are a popular beautiful girl who has a brain almost like a dog almost your school but that's ok stupidity comes in your friends too. At night, you meet an infamous killer who isn't real and makes the girl coco bananas Jeff the Killer. Guess what, Jeff falls in love! (Parody of Jeff the Killer x Reader stories.)**

**A/N: I got really bored and was reading Jeff the Killer x Reader. While reading I decided to write a story. Pretty much, that's why this exists. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy! Plus this is my first time writing a reader x whoever story so don't judge me!**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Jeff the Killer. Just this, that is all. BYE!**

**Chapter 1: Let's meet Jeff!**

"(Y/N), come over!" Your two-faced friend named Amanda called you to see their new club called Beauty Girls. You walked over there with your white with red polka-dots crop top, blue high waist denim shorts, stripped red and white sandals, daisy earrings, message bracket, leather bow on your (h/c) hair, cat-eye sunglasses white and gold, and your purse of course. Your "friends" wanted you to show more skin, it was required in your group. But the funny thing is you're the one who looked good showing more skin than your friends. You looked at your fake friends.

"What's up, Huns?" You said.

"Don't call us that, call us…selfies." Amanda said. Amanda sure loves being in control because she's a bitch.

"_Selies? Really, selfies? I may be retard but heck that's terrible name." _You thought.

"Look at that girl's outfit." Amanda pointed at the shyest girl in school named Cassie. She didn't have any friends so people think she's weird, just like in real life… "She looks like a FREAK!"

"Totals!" Your other friend named Abby who you think is secretly a man before said with her deep male voice.

"She doesn't look THAT bad. She actually looks good today." You said. Amanda sighed and looked at you crazy.

"Are you crazy or what? She looks crazy! It's like she going to come inside our beautiful homes and kill us! She's freaking hideous!" You rolled your eyes and ignore what Amanda has to say.

…

You go to your first class and it was history. You like it or nah, you have to go. You went inside the classroom and take your seat. You saw a cute techno boy named Mason. He wore a lot black clothes. His hair was black and blue but you probably don't care since he's not important. He sat down next to you, listening to his techno music. Your boring male teacher comes inside the class and stand in front of the class. You grabbed your mirror and look at your reflection.

"Hello class, today we're going to learn about the Civil War." Gosh, your teacher such a blah voice! You can just sleep through the class if you didn't care about this class. If only you knew a show that just teach about history in such a fun way! *Cough* Hetalia *Cough* *COUGH*

"In the Civil War, blah, blah, blah, blah…" You put your mirror in your GOREGOUS bag and get a pillow. You put the pillow on the desk and lay your head on it. Nap time for you! ZZZZZ!

…

It was lunch time and boy you were starving! You grabbed a bottle of water and went to your friends' table. You sat down and notice a hot guy who obviously has blue eyes because that's the only color that they know of staring at your boobs. Not your face, your boobs. You think he's looking at your face; you waved at him and saw him licking his lips. Dirty pervert, we have here. Anyways, he's not important so let's just go listen to your fake friends. You pay attention to your "smart" friends. You were actually smart once until you hang out with them. You lost lot smartness in you but you have to be dumb to order be popular right?

"Like OH MY GOD! She's like…oh my god." Amanda said.

"Totally." Probably Abby just agrees with anything.

"Hey Abby," You said. "Do you like boobs?"

"Totally." Told you she just agrees with anything.

"Ok…" Pretty much you're smarter than these brainless people and you're BARELY passing school. I know, it's a shock.

…

It was time to go home! Thank goodness! You were walking home peacefully until your phone ring. Your ringtone was Call Me Maybe by that one girl who got reject by a gay guy in the music video.

_Hey, I just met you,  
And this is crazy,  
But here's my number,  
So call me, maybe!_

It's hard to look right  
at you baby,  
But here's my number,  
so call me, maybe!

You answered your phone.

"Hello?" You said it so cheerfully.

"…"

"Hello?"

"Hi (Y/N), I like what you wearing today."

"What?!" Oh no, you dealing with an old pervert! He hung up before you can ask him who was it. Oh no, who could this old pervert can be? That creepy old neighbor who likes to stare you?! Or that hot guy?! We're never known until we get to the part!

To tell you the truth, you had shitty ass parents. Your dad: who likes to drink all day long after work and abuse you for no reason. Your mom: do nothing, I mean she really does nothing. She just stands there looking at the wall. I'm sorry to tell you this but…I think your mom is possessed by the devil and you should call help for her, sorry….

You went inside your house and went upstairs. You went into your room and lay down on your bed. Boy it was long for you as always. You have homework to do and you sure didn't feel like it. UGH! Homework, why does it have to exist? You hope that your terrible father doesn't come today because you hate him and your mom. You took a deep breath.

You friends have a boyfriend except you. You were shock that Abby has a boyfriend because of her deep male voice that frightens the hell out of you. You just weren't ready for relationship again. Your last boyfriend was a bad boy and he sucks dick (I mean literally he sucked dick). You broke up with him just last month and you guys been dating just for an hour, gosh! You hope your next boyfriend will be great at least.

…

It was nighttime and you were wearing your gym shorts and purple tank top. You grabbed your teddy bear and jumped on your bed. You cover yourself with the sheets. You put your thumb on your mouth.

"Goodnight." You said to yourself because you're idiot.

You were sleeping so great until…

_TROLOLOL! (JUST KIDDING!) HAHAHAHAHAHA!_

That laughter though, you woke up and stood up. You looked around your big room. You notice your window was opened but who cares right? It's not a sexy serial killer is coming in your room. You lay back down and closed your eyes, trying to go back to sleep. You heard your phone ringing. You opened your eyes and got up from your bed. You walked over to your desk and grabbed your phone. You answered it.

"Hello?" You annoyed.

"Hello Princess." It was that guy who said you liked your outfit today!

"Who the hell is this?"

"Go. To. Sleep." He whispered.

"How about this? You. Can. Kiss. My. (C/S). Ass!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" That laughter though.

"_I know it was funny but it wasn't THAT funny."_ You thought.

"I'm coming to your room, (Y/N). I'm coming. Hahahaha."

"You know what you should come to? Therapy, goodbye!" You hung up. For the first time, you actually kind of did something smart. You took a deep breath.

"_It's just a prank…probably just was a stupid creepy prank."_

"I'm here (Y/N)…" Oh shit, it's that guy from the phone! You stood there shocked, don't know what to do. He grabbed your hair and pulls you to your bed. He throws you on your bed. You start screaming and your eyes were closed for some reason. He got on top of you with a knife. Oh shit! What are you going to do?

Fight

Have sex with him

Just die

Fangirl

Be retard

As much you wish you can choice, you can't. He covered your mouth so you can shut up. You were trying to make him get off of you, you can't. Tears were running down on your cheeks. Oh no, your make-up! It was so perfect!

"You're cute when you trying to save your pathetic life." You opened your eyes and saw probably the most beautiful man in the world (just go along with it). He had black long hair, black big eyes; and creepy long smile (is he wearing lipstick? Guy may be fabulous when he kills someone or maybe just blood). He was wearing a white hoodie jacket, black pants, and white sneakers. Why does the guy look familiar to you? *Cough* L from Death Note. *Cough* *Cough*

You forgot you had arms so you just stood there, hoping everything will end. Also, hope he doesn't rape you. You saw the knife getting closer to your neck. Oh no, you're going to die! You going to fucking-oh look the police! You heard police alarms. You saw him putting the knife away and start running out of here.

Thank goodness, you survived! BUT! You're going to be watched by that same guy later in the story but you didn't know that. You think you're safe but you really not.

DUN, DUN, DUUUUUUNNNN!

**A/N: Lol, I hope you guys enjoy it! Randomness is the best thing ever.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Here is my new chapter! I'm not going to be posting chapters for a while because I have to do my other story and yeah. I hope you guys enjoy! Also if it sounds like I don't know stupid or something, sorry I wrote this at night and I was watching Shane Dawson's videos so yeah.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Jeff the Killer of course. He goes to the rightful owner. Thank you! :D**

**Chapter 2: Popular to A Fucking Loser**

"Ms. (Y/N) please describes the appearance of the man." The police officer said. Oh shit you completely forgot how the guy looks like? Wait…how you forgot how he looks like when…you know what…fuck logic just go for it.

"Well…um…he looked white and…he's white and creepy-looking that's all I know." Well fuck.

"I'm glad that you're safe now, (Y/N). We're going to get this man." Sure they will…I mean hooray the police officer are going to get that rapist pedophile or whatever he was who tried to kill you! Yay!

"Yeah me too." You mumbled. Well, you're safe right now basically.

…

Today, you HAVE to cover yourself. You don't want get rape, don't you? Unless you find that man hot (don't worry, I think he's hot too), then ok… You wore a black t-shirt, blue jeans, purple jacket, and blue high tops. You don't look like one of the popular people but that's ok. That means you look smart. You walked to school and walked to your bitchy friends. They looked at you disgusted.

"Ew, what are you wearing?" Amanda the bitch said.

"I have to cover myself today, I almost got raped and murder last night! Didn't you watch the news?!" You said.

"Of course not because I don't give a rat's ass if you almost got raped and murder last night, you have to look like one of us! Right Abby?"

"Totals." Abby is probably the dumbest person in the world.

"See (Y/N)? You TOTALLY don't look like us! You look like you belong with EMOS!" Why does Amanda talk like those stereotypical white girls? "You are SO out of our group! Let's go, Abby!"

"Totals." Abby follows Amanda. You can't believe you just got kick out of the group! Well, at least your brain can think more now without those stupid bitches.

…

You went to your boring history class and sat down. Your boring teacher was talking nonsense and everyone wasn't doing anything interesting so you decided you listen to music because you remember to bring your headphones today! You put your headphones on and turn on a weird strange, disgusting song but yet freaking catchy and it was called Bad Touch by Bloodhound Gang.

_Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating  
But there are several other very important differences  
Between human beings and animals that you should know about_

I'd appreciate your input

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought  
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about  
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts  
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up  
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds  
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns  
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined  
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Do it now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Do it again now  
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals  
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel  
Gettin' horny now

Ah, it's fucking weird but somehow catchy. You just can't delete it on your phone. Your music was so loud that everyone was giggling at you in background. Why? It's because the song is very strange and inappropriate. The funny part is that you were singing that and your singing is not that excellent. If only you notice though. You embarrassed yourself big time.

…

It was lunch time and everyone was talking about you behind your back but you didn't know that. You got your favorite food and walked to a table. You sat down by yourself. You begin to eat and you were by the window. You looked out of the window. You saw something strange. You saw a shadow man. How strange? Can that be that perverted man? Who knows? Two bitchy girls who actually have brains named Amber and Kelly walked up to you.

"Wow, I kind of expect this to happen but not like this. You're such a loser." Hey Amber has that stereotypical white girl voice too! She flipped her blonde hair.

"You know Amber, why don't you just go fuck yourself? Leave me alone for fuck's sake! I hope a serial killer gets you!" Oh shit…

"Kelly, anything to say to the rat?"

"…" Kelly doesn't talk for some reason. Kelly just gives you a crazy look. It's actually kind of creepy if you ask me.

"UGH! Let's go, Kelly. Let the rat eat her food alone like a loser."

"_Well, at least I'm not a bitch in the story so fuck you!" _You thought. Amber and Kelly walked away and went to their fake boyfriend. I think their boyfriends just want their breast but ok, they are not important so…yeah. You look out of the window again and saw the shadow man disappear. Well, isn't that a piece of shit?

…

You walk inside the house and saw your shitty father watching TV drinking beer (I kind of can't wait when I get older; I wonder what beer taste like…). Gosh, it was such a terrible day today! Still not going to do that boring ass homework, that's for sure! I mean who wants to do homework? Even if you have no life you still don't want do the shit! What the fuck?! Anyways you try to sneak to your room but your father somehow notices you. He turned around and looked at you. He threw a glass beer bottle at you.

"Where the hell were you?" You were like at school duh.

"At school, of course!" You shouted. What a fucking father!

"Where's your mother?"

"Right there duh!" You pointed at your mother who is staring at the wall; I think your mom is just secretly in love with the wall for some reason…ok then…

"Your mother is insane."

"_Yeah but so are you."_ You thought. You went upstairs and went inside your room. You lay down on your bed and sighed. Gosh, your life sucks now! Way to fucking go! I hope you're happy! Anyways, you closed your eyes and were about to take a nap until you felt warm body. You opened your eyes and saw the same rapist or killer or both. You were about to scream but he put his bloody (haha bloody) hand on your mouth.

"_Oh my god…did he got his hair done? He looks TOTALLY different now! He looks…FABULOUS! Oh my gosh, I can't believe!" _Oh god, the disease of having stereotypical white girl voice is spreading over you. You better fucking run to the doctor or else you going to start zombie atmosphere! You were shaking.

"It's nice to see you again, (Y/N)." You remembered you have hands so you remove his hand so easily.

"Oh my gosh, did you get your hair done?"

"Yeah, yesterday why?"

"It looks beautiful!"

"I know right?!" You both screamed like stupid people and your father didn't even come in here, what a father he is! You both stopped screaming finally.

"Ok, all I want to say is you better watch your back because I'm going to kill someone you care about. Ok bye!" He left.

Well, that escalated quickly…

**A/N: I know it's bad but whatever. I hope you enjoy! BYE I SEE YOU ON NEXT CHAPTER! MAYBE! BYE!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I'M BACK! I know you were probably like FINALLY! I'm here for an "interesting" plot now. I hope you guys enjoy! Also I'm not against emo people or anything, I love all people. Well except girls who act like they're perfect and douchebags, all those people. Especially bullies, fuck them.**

**Disclaimer: I do own Jeff the Killer of course. He goes to the rightful owner that isn't me. Tentacles. That is all.**

**Chapter 3:**

It's the next day and gosh you hate your life right now! Having a terrible life is…terrible basically. You decided to wear something at least decent enough. You worse a muscle shirt a picture of Abraham Lincoln (thanks for freeing slavery and making me have a reason why I like America!) taking a selfie, plaid shirt, black short with laces in the end, a newspaper leggings, and black combat boots. You look at yourself in the mirror. You look kind of goth or emo but you looked great…probably. You grabbed your phone and earphones. You put the earphones in your ear and select a song. Any song, I don't care really. You put your phone in your pants pocket and grabbed your backpack. When you were walking out the door, your father looked at you.

"Where are you going, young lady?" Your father wasn't drunk, but he's still a douche.

"School of course, where else will I go?" He grabbed your neck and pulls you closer to his face.

"Don't you talk to me like that I'm you father, not your damn friend. You better act right." He let go your neck. You left the house and start walking to school. Fucking asshole.

…

You took out of your earphones and looked around. You took a deep breath and walk around to find a spot to sit alone because you are now loner. You bumped into a crowd of emo people. You looked at them.

"Um hi." You said shyly.

"Hey," They said depressing. They look like the people from that terrible Harry Potter fan fiction My Immortal. I'm not sure that story is a troll or nah.

"Doesn't this girl look like she will be in our group?" A boy with long blue hair said.

"Totally, should we make her join our group?" A girl with short red hair said.

"Not yet, do you like any depressing song?" A girl with blue and red hair said. Oh my gosh you have a chance to have friends! Even if you really don't want to be their friend still, something is better than nothing right?

"Um yeah, of course I do. My life is depressing story so may as well listen to songs that are depressing." Yeah, you singing Staying Alive by Madagascar while walking to school, wanting to bust a move was depressing.

"See? She is totally like us! She's in our group now. I'm Abigail."

"I'm Lillie." The girl with short red hair said.

"I'm Bob Jr." I kind of ran out of names and didn't feel like looking for a name for him so his name is Bob Jr. ok?! You gave them a friendly smile.

"I'm (Y/N) it's nice to meet you guys."

"We need to work on your act. You're too damn nice. If you'll be too nice to people, everyone is going to make fun of you like those two evil ass groups." Abigail pointed to Amanda's and Amber's group. Amber's group was a lot bigger than Amanda's for sure but that's because Amanda is stupid as hell. You nodded.

"I was in Amanda's group before until they kick me out for something really stupid."

"I was in Amber's group; they kick me out because I got too fat. They are some evil ass bitches that I don't care if they die."

"I heard there was a serial killer around here. I watched the news. Some girl got attacked by a serial killer. I hope he's hot." Lillie said.

"I hope he's a big fat juicy–"

"We get it Bob Jr., we get it. Don't need to say it to this innocent nice girl right here. It will ruin her life." You wonder what he was going to say."

"He's gay so…yeah." Lillie said. Oh…I think we both know what he was going to say… Gross.

"Well, did they describe what did he look like?" You asked.

"Not really, all they say he was white and creepy-looking since the girl can't describe shit." That's that one creepy-looking serial killer!

"Well, I was attacked." They looked at you shockingly.

"You're the girl who couldn't describe shit?!" Lillie asked.

"I forgot what he look like ok?! I have a bad memory…a little."

"What happened to you?" Abigail asked.

"Did you fuck him?" Bob Jr. asked.

"No I didn't. I was waked up in the middle of night because I heard laughter. It was creepy. My phone ring so I answered it. He told me to go to sleep and hung up. I thought it was a prank but…he was behind me. He pulled my hair and threw me in the bed. He got on top of me and–"

"Did he rape you?!"

"Bob Jr. shut up! Continue (Y/N)." You took a deep breath and continue the story. Since I was too lazy to put the rest what happened (I'm pretty sure you know what happened to you) I'm just to tell you instead of show. You told the rest of the story what happened. When you were done, the school bell ring. It was time to go to class now!

…

When you went inside the classroom, you hurry went to your desk and sat down. You saw Amber and Kelly staring you. Those bitches, you just wish you can punch them in the face but you're too retarded to do that so…yeah. Amber and Kelly walk up to you.

"Hey loser, you look like one of those emo people. Speaking of emo people, I saw you hanging out with them. What a fucking loser you are, (Y/N)."

"_OH MY GOD, CAN I PUNCH HER IN FACE AUTHOR?! PLEASE LET ME PLEASE!"_ Not yet, child, not yet. You sighed.

"Why don't you just fuck off, Amber? You can't live a human being alone, you alien!"

"I'm not damn alien, bitch!" Amber slapped you.

"_Oh. HEEEEEELLLLL NAW!" _You got up from your seat and looked at Amber angrily. "Why are you trying to start a fight like always, you stupid whore?!" She smiled.

"It's because your reaction is amusing. It makes you look like a psychopath and I look like the cutie here." You fisted you hand and swing your fist in her face. You punched her in the cheek. She was shocked. She put her hand on her cheek. She looked at you angrily.

"You little bitch!" She slapped you hard. You push her violently, making her fall over the desk. Amber gets up and put her stuff down. You walk up to Amber and punch her again. You start fighting with her.

"FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!" Everyone in the classroom was cheering for Amber more than you, which really sucks. When the teacher comes inside the classroom, the male teacher stopped the fight. You were sent to the principal's office because you weren't pretty as Amber. God, life sucks.

…

You were walking home early because you have suspension for 3 days. Well, at least you have a vacation from Amber and other bitches like her. The suck part is that your dad. Ugh, you hate your dad to death! You just wish everyone you hate just die! You went inside the house. Since your father was working, you was home alone well not really because of your mom but she just stare at wall so she doesn't really court as a human. You went upstairs and went inside your room. You notice that your window is opened for some reason. You walk up to the window and closed it. When you turned around, you saw that creepy-looking serial killer. Seriously, what the hell is his problem? Why does he want to your house? Oh well, fuck logic.

"What are you doing here?" He was just looking at you. He was laughing so no reason. What was funny? I have no idea…

"Hello (Y/N), you're here early."

"Yeah, what are you doing in my room? And how do you know my name?!"

"I was…investigating your stuff." You hope when he said "investigating" doesn't mean sniffing your panties while you're gone. "I sometimes watch you." Creep.

"Who the hell are you?!"

"I'm Jeff the Killer." Ouch, someone doesn't love him.

"Your name is Jeff the Killer, what were your parents thinking?!" I wonder "the" is his middle name.

"No dumb ass, my name is Jeff for short. I just say "the killer", are you stupid or what?" Well you use to hang out with dumb girls so…a little.

"Just a little…anyways, can't you please stop "investigating" and get out now?"

"What happened to you? Why come here so early?"

"It's none of your damn business, Jeff!"

"Are you on period or what? You're a little grumpy."

"No I hung out with emo people today."

"Well, that explains a lot."

"Yeah, anyways can you PLEASE get out now?!"

"Alright fine! I hate to see you on your period." Jeff opened the window and left. You sighed and lay down your bed.

…

It was night time; you were wearing your pajamas of course. I mean what else you will wear? Naked? Your father was asleep so you decided to watch TV. You went downstairs and sat down on the couch. You turned on the TV. Oh look the news is on!

"We report you that something fucking terrible happened! A 16 year old Amber god knows what's her last name is, was murdered in her bedroom, naked, with her pee-pee cut off! Eh, the last part actually worked in Fred Is Dead video by Shane Dawson. She was stabbed to death but who cares because she was a bitch! It's like if Justin Bieber died. Either one of us are we throw party or cry our eyes out. Light Yagami and that other serial killer, thank you for killing her! You are true hero to America! Anyways, we have some hobos who probably witness the death because Amber was throwing a hobo party. Here they are."

"Well, while I was twerking, I heard some screams from a little girl. I ran for my life. I was like "hell naw, I'm going run for my life. Do you hear me? I'm going to run for my life" and it was just so scary."

"He's coming up your windows, trying kill your people. So hide your kids, hide your wives, and hide your husbands because he's going to try kill ya." You turned the TV off.

"_Jeff lied…he said he was going kill someone I cared. What a fucking liar!"_

**A/N: Well, it wasn't really that funny because I was thinking story mode so yeah. I hope you guys enjoy! BYE! Remember #NoFilter4Life! LOL!**


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